Family Fun Weekend

Getting Gains God's Way

Kathleen Cronin2025-11-02
Message Summary

What does it really mean to "get gains" in life — and are we chasing the right ones? In this message from Family Fun Weekend, Kathleen Cronin unpacks the story of the rich young ruler to show us that the greatest gains in life aren't found in what we accumulate, but in who we become in relationship with Jesus. Drawing on Matthew 19, Matthew 22, and Romans 8, this message is a warm, practical invitation to reorient our lives around the things that truly matter — not out of burden or guilt, but because His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Discussion Guide

Talk about it

Youth6 questions

This sermon is incredibly relevant for teenagers because so much of teen life is about comparison — who has more followers, better grades, cooler clothes, or a clearer sense of direction. The rich young ruler is basically someone who looked like they had it all together on the outside but was still restless on the inside. This message invites you to get honest about what you're really chasing, and whether Jesus is actually at the centre of your life or just somewhere on the side.

  1. The rich young ruler had done everything 'right' — but he was still missing something. Have you ever felt like that? Like you were ticking all the boxes but still felt empty or unsettled?
  2. Jesus identified the one thing the young man was holding onto too tightly. If Jesus looked at your life right now, what do you think He might identify as your 'one thing'? (This could be social media, approval from friends, a relationship, your image...)
  3. Matthew 22:37 says to love God with ALL your heart, soul, and mind. Be honest — what percentage of your heart would you say is genuinely focused on God right now? What's taking up the rest?
  4. Jesus says His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). What's a burden you're currently carrying that maybe you were never meant to carry alone?
  5. Romans 8:26 says the Holy Spirit helps us even when we don't know what to pray. Have you ever been in a situation where you didn't know what to say to God? How does it feel to know the Spirit steps in during those moments?
  6. What's one practical thing you could do this week to put Jesus more at the centre of your daily life — not out of guilt, but because you actually want to?
Young Adults6 questions

In your twenties and thirties, you're making decisions that will shape the rest of your life — career direction, relationships, finances, where to live, who to become. The pressure to optimise everything and get it 'right' is intense. The rich young ruler was probably not much older than many of you — and he was already paralysed by what he stood to lose. This message is an invitation to build your life on the foundation of relationship with Jesus rather than on achievement, and to trust that surrendering control leads to freedom, not loss.

  1. The young man asked 'what must I do?' — a very performance-based question. In what areas of your own life do you find yourself approaching God (or life in general) with a 'what do I need to do to earn this?' mindset?
  2. Jesus told the young man to let go of his wealth — the very thing his security and identity were wrapped up in. What is your version of that? What would feel most threatening to surrender to God right now?
  3. Matthew 19:26 says 'with God all things are possible.' How does that land for you in a specific area of your life where you feel stuck or like change is impossible?
  4. Following Jesus isn't just about what you give up — it's about what you step into. What does 'come, follow me' look like in your life in this current season?
  5. Romans 8:26 promises that the Spirit intercedes for us in our weakness. How do you currently invite the Holy Spirit into your decision-making, especially around big life choices?
  6. If you measured success in your life by Jesus' terms rather than society's terms, what would look different about how you spend your time, money, or energy?
Families6 questions

Families are busy — and the relentless pressure to give your kids the best of everything (schools, activities, opportunities) can quietly shift our priorities without us even noticing. This sermon asks families to reflect on what they're modelling for their children. When our kids watch how we handle money, ambition, and time, what are they learning? This message is an opportunity for families to have an honest, grace-filled conversation about what your household is really building toward — and to make sure Jesus is genuinely at the centre of your family culture, not just on the edges.

  1. The rich young ruler valued his possessions so highly that he walked away from Jesus. As a family, what are the 'possessions' — things, activities, or goals — that could subtly be competing with your relationship with God?
  2. Matthew 22:37 calls us to love God with everything. As a parent, what does it look like to model whole-hearted love for God to your children in the everyday moments of family life?
  3. Jesus' invitation was 'come, follow me' — it was relational, not just religious. How would you describe the culture of faith in your home right now? Is it more about rules, or about relationship?
  4. Matthew 11:30 says Jesus' burden is light. Where does your family feel the most pressure or heaviness right now? How might you carry that together with Jesus rather than in your own strength?
  5. As a couple or co-parent, how well are you aligned in the values and priorities you're passing on to your kids? Is there anything this sermon has surfaced that's worth a conversation?
  6. What's one thing you could do as a family this week to deliberately put Jesus first — something simple and practical, not another thing on the to-do list?
Singles6 questions

Living as a single person in a church culture that often centres family life can sometimes feel like you're waiting for your 'real' life to begin. But this message is a powerful reminder that wholeness, fulfilment, and purpose are not found in relationship status — they're found in relationship with Jesus. The rich young ruler had everything society said should make him happy, and he was still restless. This is an invitation to stop waiting and start living fully and freely in this season, with Jesus at the centre.

  1. The rich young ruler was looking for fulfilment in the wrong place. What are the things you're most tempted to look to for a sense of security or worth — things other than your relationship with God?
  2. Matthew 22:37 calls us to love God with all of our heart — not the parts that aren't currently 'taken up' by a relationship or family. What does wholehearted devotion to God look and feel like in your current season of life?
  3. Matthew 11:30 promises that walking with Jesus is lighter than walking alone. Are there burdens you've been carrying in isolation that you haven't yet brought to Jesus or to trusted community?
  4. Romans 8:26 says the Spirit intercedes for us in our weakness. What's something you've been struggling to pray about, or perhaps not even sure how to bring to God?
  5. Single life can sometimes come with a unique freedom to serve and focus on God's kingdom in ways that are harder in other seasons. How are you using that freedom intentionally right now?
  6. What is one thing — a habit, a mindset, a fear — that you sense God might be asking you to loosen your grip on so you can follow Him more freely?
Men6 questions

Men are often defined by what they achieve, what they own, and what they can control. The rich young ruler is in many ways a mirror for the modern man — successful, driven, and yet restless beneath the surface. This sermon challenges men to honestly assess whether their identity is built on their net worth, their status, or their performance — and to consider what it would look like to be genuinely led by Jesus rather than just nominally religious. True strength, this message suggests, is found not in self-sufficiency, but in surrender.

  1. The rich young ruler came to Jesus with a 'what do I need to do?' mindset. As men, we're often wired to solve and achieve. How does that tendency show up in your relationship with God — are you more comfortable doing for God than simply being with Him?
  2. Jesus identified the young man's wealth as the thing holding him back. What is the equivalent in your life — the thing your identity, security, or self-worth is most tied up in? How would you feel if God asked you to hold it more loosely?
  3. Matthew 22:37 calls for ALL of our heart, soul, and mind. In the areas of your life where you feel most in control — work, finances, leadership at home — have you genuinely surrendered those to God, or are they still on your own terms?
  4. Matthew 19:26 says that what is impossible with man is possible with God. Is there an area of your character, your relationships, or your faith where you've quietly given up on real change? How does this verse speak into that?
  5. Romans 8:26 reminds us the Spirit helps us in our weakness. How comfortable are you with acknowledging weakness — to God, to other men, to your family? What would it look like to be more honest in those areas?
  6. What does 'following Jesus' look like practically in how you lead at home, relate to your mates, or make decisions at work? Is there a gap between who you are at church and who you are everywhere else?
Women6 questions

For many women, the pressure to 'do it all' — at home, at work, in community, in faith — is relentless. This message speaks warmly into that reality. The rich young ruler was striving, performing, and still coming up short. This sermon is an invitation for women to lay down the weight of striving and to find their identity not in what they do, but in who they are in Jesus. Matthew 11:30 is especially meaningful here — the burden Jesus offers is genuinely lighter than the one most of us are carrying.

  1. The young man was trying to earn eternal life through his own good deeds. Do you ever find yourself trying to earn God's love or approval through your performance — at church, at home, or in your relationships? What does that feel like?
  2. Jesus pinpointed the one specific thing the young man needed to let go of. What is something you're holding tightly right now — a worry, a role, a need for control, an expectation — that God might be inviting you to release?
  3. Matthew 22:37 says to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Where do you find it hardest to give God your 'all'? What tends to crowd Him out in your day-to-day life?
  4. Matthew 11:30 says Jesus' yoke is easy and His burden is light. Honestly, does following Jesus currently feel light or heavy to you? What might be weighing it down?
  5. Romans 8:26 is such a comfort — the Spirit intercedes for us even when we have no words. Can you recall a time when you felt too exhausted or overwhelmed to pray properly? How does it change things to know the Spirit was still at work in you in that moment?
  6. Who is one woman in your life you could share this message with — not to preach at her, but just to have an honest, encouraging conversation about what each of you might be holding too tightly?
Connect Together6 questions

Those who gather on Thursday mornings bring decades of lived faith, hard lessons, and a deep well of wisdom to this conversation. The rich young ruler's story may look different through the lens of a life well-lived — you've seen what happens when people chase the wrong things, and perhaps you've experienced the freedom that comes from learning to hold things loosely. This message is an invitation to reflect on what you've learned about true gain across a lifetime of following Jesus, and to consider how that wisdom can be poured into the lives of those coming behind you.

  1. Looking back across your life of faith, what is something you once held onto very tightly that God eventually asked you to release? What did that process look and feel like, and what came after?
  2. The rich young ruler walked away sad — still carrying his wealth. Have you witnessed (or experienced) the long-term cost of choosing comfort or security over full surrender to God? What did that teach you?
  3. Matthew 22:37 calls us to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. How has your understanding of what 'wholehearted love for God' looks like changed or deepened over the years?
  4. Matthew 11:30 promises that Jesus' yoke is easy and His burden is light. Is there something you're still carrying in this season of life that you sense Jesus is gently asking you to hand over to Him?
  5. Romans 8:26 tells us the Spirit intercedes for us in our weakness. How has the ministry of the Holy Spirit sustained and carried you through seasons where your own strength was not enough?
  6. What is the most important thing you have learned about 'getting gains God's way' — the kind of wisdom you most want to pass on to younger generations in your family or church?
New to Church?

Welcome — we're really glad you're here today! This message is about something most of us can relate to: that nagging feeling that we need to do more, have more, or be more to feel truly fulfilled. Kathleen explores a conversation Jesus had with a wealthy young man who seemed to have everything — and yet was still searching. Whether you've been following Jesus for decades or you're just curious about what faith is all about, there's something in this message for you. No background knowledge required — just come as you are, and let's explore it together.

Related Verses

Matthew 19:16

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, 'Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?'

Matthew 19:21

Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'

Matthew 22:37

Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'

Matthew 11:30

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Romans 8:26

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

Matthew 19:26

Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'

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